Hooman physics person sayz we must stahp cuddles: iz creating black hole dat destroy world. We sayz kitty snuggles and comfort more important dan silly world. Wat is our rights? Can we destroys world for void kitty happies?
URGENT!! Pawyer needed!! I (a homeless meowz) iz been illegally coarsed into cliniclawl trial by hoomans that wantz me to turn into a hooman slavez. I iz loozing my superiar meow powers and slowly turning dumb. Need to stop this injustize!!
Der is DAWG in my howse, she says is her howse, and she sez SHE my mama, and assaults me wif tung! I want to su for doggo slobberings all over my poor head!
I have successfully tamed the big fluffy dog and want to get it to sign an unequal treaty in which I am to use them as a snuggle pillow whenever I want. What other terms should I impose on the doggo?
I has been prawviding a hideaway for my friend Tweetie. Now I finds he is an escaped criminal and I is being awcused of hawboring him. Where can I finds a pawyer to helps me gets out of this mess???
I tried to claim my humans dog as my new bed but got gold I am too illegally smol to make such a claim. Can a pawyer make such a claim?
I was trying to go down the stairs at the mall but no matter how much I walk, I never reach the bottom floor. Can I sue the mall for making me walk down defective stairs?
I saved another kitty from eating less than fresh meat. It was out of the fridge for a few minutes so was unsafe from them to eat. I was told I was a bad kitty instead of thanked and given treats. How do I deal with this slander?
Our human doesnt respond in a timely manor for our demands for treats. We tried training them to respond to a bell but they struggle with that too. The bell.manifaturer is refusimg a refund. Can I sue for false advertising?
These humans put up decorations that mock and appropriate my culture.leading to hate crimes against my people. I demand justice!
My human had the audacity to not pick up my fish teco and give it to me. Can I sue them for treating my toys in such a bad fashion?
The feeder that my human brought is broken and only feeds me at a specific times instead of when I want feeding. My human refuses to get it replaced. How can I replace it with one that works? Can I sue the manufacturer? What about my human?
I'm a pawlice officer. This criminal dawg claim I uses excessive fawrce against him. He filed a cawmplaint against me. What is my awwptions? I think I needs a pawyer.
I've been training the new recruit in the art of fighting humans. I plan to use the kitten to attack the human when it displeases me without getting any of the blame. Can the human can use the legal system either before or after the kitten attacks to stop
This little criminal stole 2.5k hearts over at r/illegallysmolcats and devoured them to get even cuter last night. I need help trying to fight these upcoming allegations of theft. If you have any legal advice plz help!!
I am having to flee from a scary machine in my own home. This is humiliating; How can I make it stop forever?
